scripts source: wikia.com
Announcer: From the makers of "Les Misérables", comes another story about a prisoner in need of redemption.
(Hamburglar enters a courtroom, with Ronald McDonald as the judge.)
Hamburglar: ♫ Have mercy, my lord. I'm not a man of violence. I stole Big Mac's to feed my fami- ♫
Ronald McDonald: SILENCE! ♫ From this day on to bring you shame, Your crime, Hamburglar, shall be your name! ♫
Hamburglar: NOOOOOO!
Ronald McDonald: ♫ Yes, that's your name. There's no way to escape this. You're the French Fry Killer and you're the Nugget Rapist. ♫
(Cuts to Birdie inside of a McDonald's kitchen with Ronald McDonald.)
Announcer: A poultry in need of hope.
McDonald's Employees: ♫ By the time this day ends, this won't will do nicely. Cause, a bird on the grill, is worth two in the hat. ♫
Birdie: ♫ You're supposed to be a friend, to all in McDonaldland. ♫
Ronald McDonald: ♫ You're a food that I stir-fry, to billions worldwide. So, you kind of should've seen this coming. ♫
McDonald's Employees: ♫ By the time the day ends. ♫
(The McDonald's Employees carry her out.)
Birdie: NOOOOO!
(Cuts to Birdie, with her hair cut off, and her clothes gone.)
Announcer: Every performance riveted.
Birdie: ♫ I had a dream that I would be, more than a nugget made for dipping. ♫
(Cuts to Hamburglar, with Birdie's egg.)
Hamburglar: ♫ I promise I will save your child, and keep her here among the living. ♫
Birdie: ♫ There's so much hope in my hear- ♫
(A McDonald's Employee slices her head off with a butcher knife.)
Hamburglar: Oh, GOD!
(A McDonald's Employee puts her in a boiling pot.)
Announcer: Every line of dialogue sung.
Hamburglar: Now, who will rise?!
(crowd mumbles)
Hamburglar: (coughs) I mean. "♫ Who will rise?! ♫"
(crowd cheers)
(A McDonald's Employee drinks Happy Meal Drink.)
Happy Meal Drink: No! Please stop sucking!
(A McDonald's Employee bites Mayor McCheese.)
Mayor McCheese: No! No! No! No! No! Aaaaahhhhhh!
(Hamburglar stabs a McDonald's Employee, and holds up a McDonald's flag.)
Hamburglar: Robble Robble!
Announcer: Les Misérobble Robble.
(The words "Les Misérobble Robble" appear along with Hamburglar.)
(cuts to static)
